The one factor in every marriage where someone cheats | University of Love Science
We used to think that people cheat only because they can’t keep it in their pants, or because they’re unhappy in their relationships, or because they’re bored with their partners.
Well, that’s just part of the infidelity puzzle. Some doctors say another factor may be genetics.
Some research studies, including a much-talked-about 2014 study by Brendan Zetsche, a psychologist at the University of Queensland in Australia, showed that people who cheated had a different type of vasopressin, a hormone associated with attachment and bonding.
Research shows that this may be one of the genetic factors that contribute to infidelity.
Psychotherapy, sex therapy, and even spiritual work (whether pharmacological or faith-based) have long been the way to work on marriages plagued by infidelity.
However, some prominent clinicians, such as Bonnie Ecker Weil, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and author Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Loveused complementary therapy to help their patients remain faithful.
It works for them.
It should be noted that it is a controversial practice with little to no scientific support and is not intended to be a “cure for infidelity.”
“Chemicals in your brain can be changed to help stop an affair or not want an affair,” says Dr. Eker Weil. “This takes a little bit of the stigma and emotional pain out of an affair. I don’t excuse it, but I tell my patients, ‘Listen, it’s not entirely in your control.’
Of course, you can’t blame cheating solely on your genes, which is why a combination of psychotherapy, nutritional supplements, and lifestyle changes is what doctors order here.
It’s not all that different from using St. John’s wart to help treat depression, valerian root to help treat anxiety, and supplements to help with your workouts.
Image: Kate Koltsevich via Shutterstock
The first step is to find out if there is a chemical imbalance.
“Some doctors will do blood, urine and/or saliva tests for your adrenals, dopamine, serotonin, vasopressin, etc., to see if you have a chemical imbalance and then they can advise you on the supplements needed to help balance any imbalance,” she says.
The most impressive and fast-acting supplement, according to both, is low-dose lithium orotate, which is also more commonly used to treat a variety of issues, including anxiety and depression.
“It’s all natural and has no side effects. Within days, most people notice improved mood, concentration, motivation and decreased stress. For maximum benefit, it’s best combined with treatment with vitamins B6, D3, K2 and Omega-3.”
Dr. Eker Weil says lithium orotate is powerful because it stimulates oxytocin, the cuddle hormone that makes you feel safe and connected.
“It helps relieve vasopressin. I have seen it stop the urge for adultery in my practice,” she says.
In couples counseling, she prescribes this supplement to both partners to help them reconnect and reignite their bond. She uses it with prescription oxytocin pills. Other supplements that Gray and Eckerwell have used include L-theanine, which is derived from tea leaves, and Rhodiola.
“They both help calm and reduce stress, which balances and stabilizes you, gives you clarity, aids in therapy, and stops the need to cheat. Rhodiola also helps with fatigue. We all know that stress and fatigue are contributing factors to infidelity,” says Ecker Weil.
It should be noted that “there is no scientific evidence to support treating people with medications or nutritional supplements to prevent infidelity,” as one expert in this field, who wishes to remain anonymous, points out.
Carrie Borzello is a music and entertainment journalist. She has also written advice columns for Gene Simmons’ Tongue Magazine, SuicideGirls, and THC Expose Magazine, and has appeared as an expert on national shows such as “Loveline” with Dr. Drew and Playboy Radio.
(Tags for translation) cheating