I keep this picture on my fridge:
It’s a picture of me and my ex-husband and our Granddaughter.
Someone recently asked me why? ” Your not married to him anymore, he is not your husband why do you have that picture on display.”
There are several reasons:
- Nostalgia: Our marriage wasn’t always good and yes it ended in divorce, However: for seventeen years we shared our lives together. We were kids when we started having kids and we struggled and kicked and fought our way through growing up together , we raised our kids, there were times we highly disliked each other but make no bones about it, there were times we loved each other very much. We used to take our kids to this same tree farm when they were little, all of us bundled up in our winter jackets together on the hunt for the perfect Christmas tree, and now every year we do it together with her.
- Forgiveness: No bitterness, No holding grudges, I have forgiven him for his wrong doings and he has forgiven me for mine.
- Unity : We have always been united when it comes to her, we send each other pictures and videos of her. She talks to me about her Papa and the things they do together, and I listen intently and with admiration for the relationship she has with him, for the man he is when he is around her, for the Papa he has become.
- Mostly I have it on my fridge for the little munchkin holding our hands in the picture above, because every time she comes to my house and her tiny little self looks up on the fridge, she goes over each picture and tells her story.
” That one is me and Aunty, Aunty is kissing me.”
” That is me, and my Mommy and my Daddy, they are holding me. ”
” That’s me and Gamma and Papa yooking for a Christmas tree.”
Every time she says it I think: I love that she doesn’t know any different ,she hasn’t been jaded by our story before she was in it and then I realize, I don’t know it any differently anymore either.
The past has slipped in to the past where it belongs and I get to see the man I was once married to be the best man he has ever been through my Granddaughters eyes.